Battle of the Current-Gen Consoles

After a rousing episode of South Park, i've buckled down and did a bit of research on the Gamecube, XBox, and PS2. Don't want to spend hundreds of dollars on a next-genner? This is the article for you.

Lets start with the Gamecube. Nintendo has delivered a very new console, different from all others. Unlike the PS2, the GCN is a huge leap from the N64. Brand new controllers, design, and overall look. Although not quite as powerful as the PS2 or XBox, the Gamecube can deliver the goods.

Although the GameCube doesn't have the power of the PS2 and XBox, don't think its a bad system. It still has lots of good things. Like the Game Boy Player. You stick it on the bottom of the console and you can play your favorite Game Boy and GBA games. Fun! I think the best thing about the GCN is the little doodads. Like the microphone and the GBA connector. Screw you, EyeToy! We have Game Boy Players!

I also like how the GameCube comes in lots of different colors. First came Indigo. Then came Black. Then the Platinum GameCube was released (that's when i decided to purchase one myself. Now there are orange ones and i think they have a special Pikachu edition. You can also get controllers in various colors too, so you can look like a super-dork with your indigo console and bright orange controller. Geek out!

Anyway.........the selection of games is somewhat small. But there are a few great games that easily make up for the overall lack.

One of the last good games for the GameCube is Chibi-Robo. It's really fun. It's really addicting. And it's soooo cute! Awww, look, that lego dinosaur is going to eat me! It's teeth are sooo adorable! This game is fun for a long, long time. It's really addicting. And it's got great sound design. But after a while, the addiction wears off as the game becomes incredibly repetitive. The camera also neads some drastic work. A 7.5 out of 10.

The next game is Ultimate Spiderman. The game is great overall, it will provide hours of fun. But only hours. Its really, really short. I beat it in about 8 hours. The second time around, it only took about 5. But it does have some replay value, unlocking sweet costumes and secret bonuses. The cel-shading comic-book-style graphics are outstanding, even on the GameCube. You also get to play as both Spiderman himself and Venom, giving the game a good-cop bad-cop feel. In a good way. The last thing is that the enviroment is huge! You will feel like a farmer in the Mall of America playing this game. But a helpful map makes it easy to locate all the missions. Yeeeeah booooi! 9 out of 10.

The last good game is Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory. Next to Resident Evil 4 (look for a review of that later on), this is definately the best game for the GameCube. Look, the GCN has Splinter Cell! Don't say this system isn't for hardcore gamers. There are hardcore Mario gamers, right? Right? Whatever. This game is phenominal. There are lots of new techniques and a new approach to using them. There are subtle but powerful graphic upgrades. And the co-op multiplayer mode is friggin' addicting. Sweet! There is one small problem that blocks Chaos Theory from total perfection. It's really, really easy. But it's still long and fun. 9.5 nightvision goggles out of 10.

The GameCube is pretty average in the graphical department. Not that the PS2 is much better. But at $99.99, it's a great deal.

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Next up is the PS2. It's got power. It's got style. And it's got an assload of games. The PS2 is a system targeted for hardcore gamers, with franchises like Metal Gear Solid and Grand Theft Auto. But it does have some very different games, like Guitar Hero and Katamari Damacy. Lets take a closer look.

The thing I absoulutely hate about the PS2 is it looks pretty much the same as the PS1. Sony did a knockout performance mimicing the original PlayStation. But they stepped up the graphics and added media capability into the mix. Kudos, Sony!

Like I said, the PS2 isn't much different from the PS1 on the outside. The controllers are exactly the same, the design is exactly the same, even the memory cards are the same! But the PS2 has more powerful processors and the graphics card is a bit better. But not a lot. A good PS1 game looks like an average PS2 game. Lets pick up the pace, Sony! Hopefully the PS3 is better. "Oh yes, it's very different. The PS3 is silver!"

The EyeToy is really cool. It's a really great idea. If only they could figure out something cool to do with it! Instead your using your arms to swat flies on your TV screen. What a waste of my 30$!! You have to admit though, EyeToy Antigrav is just plain sweet. What could be more fun than PRETENDING your riding a hoverboard. Besides actually hoverboarding. But its the next best thing to Dance Dance Revolution for a video game workout.

One thing i think is really sweet is that Mad Catz has this line of controllers that are designed around football teams. The have about every single NFL team, so you can show off your team colors while pwning your opponents in Madden 06. Yay! There also is Dance Dance Revolution. Who could forget DDR?

The PS2 market is flooded with terrible games. It's got more 0's that Bill Gate's paycheck. There's a bad game. Then, there's Torino 2006. There also is D.I.C.E., the next Power Rangers. Oh, and who could forget 50 Cent: Bulletproof. Let's not even go there.

But there is light in all this. There are some truly great games for the PlayStation 2. Like Guitar Hero! You get a guitar-like controller. You play rock music. Nothing in the world will make you feel more like a rock star. Plus, the music kicks ass and Dance Dance Revolution-like gameplay makes it the most addictive game i've played in years. In addition to the fun, it has plenty of challenge. The only problem is this: where the fuck is the AC/DC?!? 9.5 out of 10.

Then there's Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. It's fun. It's violent. It's really, really, really not appropriate for young minds. Oh well. Screw you, ESRB! After that short screwing seesion, GTA: San Andreas remains true to the franchise. It's got big-ass enviroment. And when I say big-ass, i mean BIG-ass. In a friggin helicopter it takes about 5 minutes to cross the entire map. IN A HELICOPTER. Sweet. Helicopters. The game really is a step up in the control department. The've fixed most of the control bugs, including the Auto-Aim feature. But the camera still sucks, and i fear it always will. Boohoo. Anyway, the game has tons of stuff to do and a pretty unique multiplayer mode. Fun fun fun! And theres a lot of suprising variety in the challenges. That makes it sweet. Super-sweet. I give is 9 out of 10.

Then there's my personal favorite. God of War. It's just plain addicting. If ripping people's heads off doesn't sound fun to you, then your just plain weird. And/or squeemish. It's really, really fun. Trust me. But if you can't play M games, then.... HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!! Poor fool. This game is superb in every way. Its got great graphics and is constantly amazing gamers. You come around the corner and WAM! There's a minotaur! The gameplay is top-notch. Everything is top-notch. The actions is brutal and way satisfying. You will rip a head off and say, "Hey, that was really great. Maybe i should get a puppy. A three-headed puppy." But the game is too short to enjoy for long. Luckily, there is some replay value. 10 out of 10.

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Last but definitely not least, the XBox. It's a powerhouse. It's got an arsenal of chart-topping games. And it has a secret weapon: XBox Live. The XBox, Microsoft's first venture into gaming is the best-selling of the three current-gen consoles, even with it's late release. Let me break it down.

Like i said, the XBox is juiced. With 2 Intel Pentium III 733 mHz proccessors, the XBox is the most powerful system around (excluding the 360 and PS3). It's power results in outstanding graphics, lightning-fast proccessing speed, and enhanced gaming. In english, You get great-looking games, really fast loading etc., and detailed gaming (example: lots of enemies on the screen at one time). Overall, it makes your gaming experience a whole lot better.

The success of the XBox is not because of the power. It's because of the feature that sets the XBox apart from every other system. XBox Live. As you probably know, it's the online gameplay on the XBox (it is also available for the 360). Most XBox games have some online capability, whether it's a deathmatch, capture the flag, or knockout race, you can do it with other people from around the world. Although Xbox Live service costs extra, it is worth every penny.

But you have to give credit to the selection of games and nifty accessories. There's Dance Dance Revolution (of course). It also has those NFL controllers i mentioned earlier. There isn't much else, but the games fill the empty space.

First up is Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory. It's probably the last Splinter Cell game on the XBox. It's different from the others in a few ways; there are many new techniques (like knife combat) and an easy tutorial that puts you in real situations to learn how to play. There are some powerful graphic upgrades from Pandora Tommorow (the previous installment in the Splinter Cell series) making the game look much better even in the dark. And the Co-op mode? Dude. There's a whole seperate campaign for cooperative mode and you will have oddles of fun with your imaginary girlfriend. Sweet. There's only one problem..... sorry to burst your bubble, Sam Fisher, but your game is too easy. 9.5 out of 10.

There also is Burnout 3. They say third time's the charm, and that applies with Burnout 3: Takedown. Or maybe it's just the fact that the series was transferred from Acclaim to EA. Plot? Nah. But you get to drive unliscenced cars in various cities around the world with urban, mountain, and forest areas. But the lack of real cars is made up by the variety of vehicles. You have muscle cars, coupes, sports, compacts, SUVs, and supercars. And what could be more fun then crashing the shit out of 'em? I submit the nothing is! Online mode is great too. You will have fun blowing up your friends on XBox Live. Overall, the game presents itself flawlessly during your crash rns or drunk driving practice sessions. 10 out of 10.

The last game is perfect. Literally perfect. It is one of the best-selling games of all time and definitely the best for the XBox. I think you know what i'm talking about. HALO 2. The original Halo was a chart-topper on both the XBox and PC. But Bungie had to have a sequel. So they released Halo 2. Many people say it is the best game of all time. But everyone can agree that Halo 2 is pretty damn close. It's got some of the best graphics available on the XBox. Playing this game, you are confronted with a complete sensory overload. The sights and sounds are a lot to take in. Even the smell of your XBox overheating because your so addicted to Halo 2 ties in perfectly (Bungie's amazing foresight foresaw that). Bungie also payed a TON of attention to detail, texture, etc. There is no invisible walls (unless you're flying). The gameplay is flawlessly controlled with the classic left-stick motion and right-stick camera scheme. The game is always changing, making it new every time. And being caught in the struggle between Earth and the Covenant is compelling and you will feel like you're actually there. The best part of Halo 2 is definitely the online play. Don't call it online play. Call it a whole online community. It took what was good about other online games (clans, messaging systems, voice chat, and various interesting matches) and added even more (customizable game types, characters, and party matches). You also can take up to 3 guests on one system on the internet to play with you. 10 out of 10.

At 120$*, The XBox is probably the best choice. It has power, games galore, and XBox Live.

But if you want a cheap system or a good system for the family, the GameCube is the obvious choice.

Want to play Grand Theft Auto, Tekken, and more great games? The PS2 is your console. It's a bit more expensive, but it has more power than the GameCube and is great for hardcore gamers.

So, there you go. If this guide didn't help you, than you can email me at chilloutmon@gmail.com.