Bully: Rockstar's new law suit

E3 2005: Rockstar Games announces it's new game, Bully. All they say is that it takes place in a boarding school and will feature a "troubled" 15-year-old in a new school. The first question, coming from an online media reporter, was: "Is this going to be some kind of Columbine simulator?" WTF?????????????

So, a year and a half later, info is released about the game. Here's the skinny.

Like they said in '05, you play as Jimmy, a "troubled" 15-year-old in a new boarding school, Bullsworth Academy. The alleged "Columbine Simulator" is actually aimed at a T rating, and will feature no guns, blood, or language in any form. How's that, you god damn critics? IT'S NOT GRAND THEFT AUTO. There's no blood or guns or sex scenes. HAH! IN YOUR FACE! Actually, the games fighting (of course it has some) is mostly kicking punching, tackling, etc. No blood squirts out of your fallen opponents. No AK-47's appear from nowhere. As a matter of fact, your "arsenal" consists of stink bombs, snowballs, spitballs, smoke bombs, firecrackers, and more. Some of your special moves will be the Atomic Wedgie, The Nuggie, and more of that sort.

This game even has a stealth element. Say you put a stinkbomb in the toilet, and the Prefects (which are pretty much the guards)know it's you (which will happen often) you have to get out without getting busted. Some of your stealthy maneuvers are hiding in lockers, bathroom stalls, and under tables. There is much more to be revealed about the stealth in Bully.

What do you know, this game has good values! Sometimes you have to attend classes to up your skills. Chemistry can help you pull off advanced pranks. Auto shop can help you improve the quality of your two main forms of transportation, your skateboard and your bike. Gym can help improve your strength and teach you new fighting moves. English is about as important in this game as it is in real life, but it ups your arsenal of excuses in case you get busted. There are a few more classes, but their purposes have yet to be revealed.

Bullsworth Academy and the surrounding town offer a lot of secret places and side-missions to explore. In one, a gym teacher is found outside an adult bookstore. He asks you do a few favors for him. Those don't matter. But the last one is fun. A classic. The "Panty Raid". I wont get into specifics. There are also five cliques. The jocks, the Nerds, the Preps, the Greasers, and the Bullies. If you do side quests for one of the cliques, your respect in that clique will go up. Some side quest will make your respect with other cliques go down, though. Having a lot of respect with the cliques and other people around Bullsworth will help you, especially in co-op missions, where you need to find a friend to help you out.

The game runs on an improved version of the San Andreas engine, so graphics are not a problem (at least on the PS2). The camera is great (at least in the demo) and easy to use. All the basic gameplay is pretty good. It's the concept that sets Bully apart from other games. Is there any other game even close to it? I don't think so. Harry Potter doesn't count because the books are gay and the games are worse. It also has a few things that help you reminisce upon past games. Like in gym class you play Dodgeball. This is a tribute to the great NES game Super Dodge Ball. Also, the art class minigame is a tribute to the arcade classic puzzle game Qix.

So does this game seem like a Columbine Simulator to you? If it does, you're either an asshole, a politician, or (in most cases) both. Look for Bully in October on the PS2. Unfortunately, I'm currently Playstation-less, so i won't. But I'll get a review from my friend Peter.